Tag Archives: The probing wife

An Angel in Heaven

Earlier, my husband and I were watching the movie ‘God’s Not Dead.’ The movie is about faith, about believing or not believing in God.

There is one character in the movie that I can totally relate. The professor, Jeffrey. The character lost his mom when he was young, he prayed to God to spare her mom’s life. To let her mom live, but God did not hear his prayers. His mom died, and after that, he hated God.

The reason why I can totally relate with him is because last year, I prayed to God to spare someone as well. I prayed day and night. I prayed fervently and even said I am willing to do everything just for an answered prayer. Yes, I was that desperate. I was that desperate to spare that someone’s life. Someone really close to me. Someone I would do everything for. Someone I know I can’t afford to lose. My daughter.

Just like Professor Jeffrey’s story though, God did not hear my prayers as well.

Have you ever had a dream that was shattered? If you haven’t, then allow me to describe it for you. It is like looking at a perfect, flawless creation, that all of a sudden shatters and breaks into pieces. Tiny, minute particles, that you know you can’t put back together. No matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you pursue, there is no way of putting it back together as it is already shattered beyond repair. That is exactly how I felt June last year when they said my baby is sick. I can’t accept it. I can’t understand. My brain just failed to recognize that my dream, even if it is so close, still can’t be mine.

May 3, 2017. My husband and I found out I was pregnant with our first baby. We were so happy. We were actually beyond happy. We were ecstatic. We immediately called our doctor for a check-up. Everything seemed fine, she said. No chances of our baby getting sick. My husband and I are young and healthy so it is almost sure our baby will be okay. As per procedure though, she still told us to go for an ultrasound so they can check if there is a fluid in the back of my baby’s neck, which would tell if the baby has chromosome defect or none.

On the day of the ultrasound, my husband and I were very excited. We will hear our baby’s heartbeat, we will see her! When my name was called, I almost leaped out of excitement. We first listened to the heartbeat, it was perfect! It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. Then time to see her. I swear I could see my baby’s face. I could see how perfect she was. She was waving at us! She was dancing! Like she was telling us she is happy to see us.  But it all faded. My world started spinning… I felt sick… I couldn’t breathe… the last thing I remember hearing was…’Your baby is sick…’

I didn’t know what to say to the nurse. I couldn’t understand anything that she was saying. Luckily my husband was there with me. Apparently, the doctors wanted to do another test to be sure whether my baby is indeed sick or not. I need another blood test and CVS. They said CVS will hurt and they can’t use anesthesia. I said yes instantly. I will do everything for my baby. Anything, everything.

The moment my husband and I got home, I broke down to tears. I could feel my heart breaking a million times over and over again. I have never felt this pain before. I have never felt this hopeless. Then, I prayed. I prayed like I have never prayed my entire life. I asked God one thing, to spare my baby’s life. I asked God, to heal my baby. I asked God to let me hold my baby.

Every day, every moment after that day, I just had that one prayer.

Then came the day for my CVS. The doctors started the orientation and told me to prepare for the pain. They will insert a long needle on my tummy without anesthesia and practically stab me a hundred time to get a sample of my placenta so they can check it. I needed strength before the pain so I prayed and then asked them if I can listen to my baby’s heartbeat again. There is it goes again, that beautiful melody. And just like that, I was ready to have the CVS.

The doctor said I should be still, even if it hurts, I can’t move because one move might hurt the baby. She told me to look away, but I didn’t want to. I watched her insert what seemed like a 12 inches long needle and stab me over and over again. It was no doubt painful, but my attention was focused on the monitor. I have to make sure she doesn’t hurt my baby. My baby should never be hurt. After minutes more of continuous stabbing, she said it’s done. My doctor said, I did really well. She had never had a patient like me who did not even flinch. In my mind, I wanted to tell her to just continue stabbing me if it’ll heal my baby, even if she skin me alive, I will not cry. Yes, I was that desperate to save my baby.

I was at the office when I got a call 2 weeks after the tests. It was from the hospital. I couldn’t remember much but the call ended with the nurse saying, ‘It’s trisomy 18, which means she is not compatible with life. I’m sorry.’

I went outside the office. I walked a few meters away from the building until I reached the pathway. I sat on the grass, under the tree and cried hard, so hard that I could feel my chest bursting. How can this happen to me? Why is this happening to me? Why my baby? WHY?

I talked to my little one, all attention focused on my tummy. I told her, ‘I love you. I love you. I love you. You know I did everything I could baby, You know how much I love you. You know I would do everything for you. I fought as hard as I can, but I lost baby. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’

 

I felt like a wreck. I do not know what to do. I am so lost. And so I prayed, I asked God why didn’t He listen to me. Why didn’t He answer my prayers? I have always been faithful, I always go to the church, I serve in the church, I always share my blessings. One favor, one prayer. That is all I asked of Him but He did not listen. I felt like He abandoned me.

I would be a hypocrite if I say I have accepted what God planned for my baby and I. But that is not true, not at all. That night I talked to my husband, I asked him if God hates me. Why didn’t he listen to my prayer? Why is he punishing me? My husband told me he has no answers as well. He just know that this is just a trial. So we prayed together, we prayed our longest and most painful prayer. We asked for a miracle. But in the end, we just said we will surrender to him and let His will be done.

We know that there is another test we have to overcome together. We have to make a choice for our little one, and we did. I know that choice is something I will never forgive myself for. But I have to do it. I have to do it for my little one. And I did. You have no idea how many times I asked God to remove the cup from me. For Him to just do it, instead of I giving the consent. Even up to the very last minute, I still prayed, but the answer was no.

August 3, 2017, my angel went to heaven.

My baby is gone. And as I held her tiny body in my arms, my husband and I offered a prayer to God. Up until now, we still pray the same. Send our love to heaven.

I kissed my baby gently and whispered I love you, and then she took her last breath.

Silence. Numbing silence.

You see, I never had the courage to tell this to a lot of people. Only selected few knew about my pregnancy. I couldn’t bear to tell this story, not because it is horrible. But because it was beautiful, it’s just that it ended all too soon.

Yes, it easy to hate God if something didn’t happen as we planned, but I know my baby would like us to keep the faith. And despite it ending too soon, we are still thankful we saw our baby, our angel, Samantha Nicole.

After reading this, please don’t say condolence. Instead, say congratulations. Congratulations because my husband and I now have an angel in heaven.

PS

Sorry for all of the typos. I am really emotional right now. Please continue praying for us. 🙂

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Buying an Apartment in Denmark

Tired of paying a huge amount every month for the rental of your apartment? Well, we feel you. My husband and I just moved here January last year. And since he was an off-shore consultant that time, we didn’t have to worry about the rent. But after his contract ended, we decided to stay here for good and that means we have to get our own place.

We started looking for apartments and we were dumbfounded by the cost of renting one. Those that are in the city center cost around 11-13,000 DDK for a tiny 1 bedroom apartment and the deposit fee is 5 months minimum with no guarantee of return even if you give back the apartment in an amazing condition which sadly happened to our friends.  I am sure there are prices that are cheaper but it is extremely hard to find one.

So my husband and I just decided to buy our own apartment instead. A friend of ours offered us a room to crash while we are looking for our own, and we are extremely grateful because it gave us more opportunity to save up for the downpayment.

We will move into our new place this February and we are beyond excited! If you want to buy your own place as well, here are the things that we did.

Here are the steps on how to buy your own apartment/house:

1. Check out websites and start looking for the house/apartment you want. You can’t believe the number of apartment listings we check out every day. We tried to filter our search but it didn’t help that much. We have decided to go for ejerleglidhed, minimum of 2 bedrooms and within Gladsaxe Kommune, but the options are still so many! But do not be bothered, the more options the better! Just be very patient and enjoy the experience. 🙂 Here are some things we ask the real estate agents every time we check and apartment. a. How old is the apartment b. are there schools and grocery nearby c. heating d. common fee for the building.

Here are the websites we checked out.

Home.dk

Danbolig
Mæglercomaniet.dk (this is where we got our apartment from)

boligsiden.dk

boliga.dk

edc.dk

2. Start searching for banks. This may seem like an easy process. Not. It is really not that easy to find a bank that will give you a low down payment because you are an expat. At least this is based on our experience. They have this fear that expats can just leave and they’ll be in big trouble so they will always ask for a bigger downpayment, more than what is mandated by the law which is 5%. But I have some recommendations for banks as well. Ours is Arbejdenes Landsbank in Herlev, they are beyond amazing, really! You can also try Jysk and then another expat recommended Nordea as well. Surprisingly, they gave him an amazing deal. The bank that really asked too much from us was Danske Bank. But I am not discouraging you from checking them out, although if I were you I will manage my expectations.

Here are the requirements you are required to give the bank.

  • Yellow card/CPR number
  • residence card
  • payroll slip (3 months)
  • recent bank statement
  • insurance (if applicable)

3. Get an approval from the Justice Ministry. If you have been here in Denmark for less than 5 years, you have to send an email to the Justice Ministry asking for permission to buy a property. But don’t be worried. This step is actually really simple. Once you have decided which house/apartment you would really love to buy, tell the real estate personnel about it so they can ‘reserve’ the property for you and send an email to the Justice Ministry stating what will you be using the property for and attach your yellow card and residence permit. Wait for 2 weeks and you will get the decision.

4. Meeting with the bank. You have to meet with the bank that you have chosen and discuss the terms of your loan. This will be a long and grueling meeting so come prepared. Also, ask all the questions that you can think of to you loan handler, it will really help you have more idea of what to expect in the months to come. Oh, in this meeting you will discuss whether you will go for a fix or variable loan so start learning more about these two now and decide which do you think is better for you.

5. Get a lawyer. Your lawyer will process everything for you and make sure that you get the most out of the deal. The lawyer will also make sure that you are getting your money’s worth because he/she will do a thorough background check of the property and advise you if this is a good buy or not. If you have a lawyer and then the deal will not fall through because the bank for some reason declined it or something, your lawyer will make sure that you will not be held responsible as well. I know that getting a lawyer here in Denmark but we found a really good one but cheapest price possible. The usual price for a lawyer here is 10,000 DKK. We got ours half of that price. 🙂

Here are the details of our lawyer. Kindly tell him you were referred by Hannah, so he will give you teh same rate as he gave us.

Jeppe Steen Hansen, Advokatfuldmægtig

T: +45 50 78 20 70      

M: jsh@mettehojberg.dk

And then, you will wait…Just wait for the turnover. ❤

I hope this helps. 🙂 Feel free to comment if you have any question or if you need help. 🙂

 

Hyggeligt Winter

Oh well, it’s winter, and you live in Denmark, the wet and windy land of the Vikings. It’s so dark and gloomy outside, and you think, there are probably thousands of white walkers ready to eat you alive. But in reality, you really just don’t feel like going out. But you want to avoid winter depression, so what will you do? You can’t go all Elsa and say ‘the cold doesn’t bother me anyway’ because it does and it will bother you.

Don’t worry, I got your back. This bubbly and loud little Filipina will teach you how to survive winter in Denmark, the Danish way. How? Well, it’s all about the word ‘hygge’. (Please don’t ask me how to pronounce it. I can barely pass my Danish language class.lol) There will be extremely no need for you to go out and risk having frost bites.lol

How to have a hyggeligt winter.

Wine and cheese on a candlelight eve. On a night when my husband and I want to distress, we sit on the sofa or just in any corner of our house and just have an amazing time drinking wine and having cheese. This gives us the time to talk about our day, which means mostly me ranting about the weirdest and smallest thing possible. My husband finds it cute, so it okay.

Movie and Popcorn. But most likely Netflix. We catch up on our favorite series together. If you are a deeply emotional person like me, though, be warned and choose carefully what you want to watch this winter. I always end up crying and getting really sad. I mean, Ragnar Lothbrok died, Glenn’s eyes popped, Monica died, etc. etc. Will that not make you cry and depressed more? sigh.

Candles and soft music. This really relaxes me and my husband. We just lay on the couch and just talk. Talking to someone you are really familiar with can make you really cheerful and excited about everything. Candles and soft music can mean sexy time for some…sooo… ermm… do whatever you please.lol (NOTE: this is a wholesome blog)

Snuggling/Cuddling the dog/husband. Whichever is applicable. 🙂 

Invite friend over for some drinks in your place. Don’t worry, they will always think that this works for mutual benefit. They will NEVER think that you are inviting them over just because you are too lazy to go out, but you also want to have fun. Although if they are really your best friends, they probably already know that just don’t want to go out in the cold winter night.  

Whatever you choose to do, always remember that hygge is about the atmosphere. (Or so I was told) Remember to create an atmosphere that is warm, cozy and really just fun. You do not have to go overboard with the music, the food, and wine. Hygge is not about being fabulous and loud, it is about being chill, calm and just the feeling of warmth radiating from the hearts of the ones you love and want to spend time with. ❤

Have a hyggeligt evening everyone. 🙂

NOTE: If you have more tips to share, feel free to comment. ❤

The Probing Wife X Colourpop GenSan

Hey everyone!

I would like to greet all of you a happy new year! Allow me as well to open this year with a great surprise for all of you! The Probing Wife is now officially in collaboration with Colourpop Gensan!

And with this collaboration comes an amazing surprise for all of you. We will give you a 5% discount on the lipstick of your choice and will even give you some lipstick for free!

Want to know how?

Here’s the mechanics.

5% Discount Deal

  1. Like the Colourpop Gensan Page
  2. Upon ordering, use the promo code : PWXCG
  3. You will immediately get a confirmation of your order with discount included

Get Free Colourpop Lippies

  • Simply comment the shade you love and end it with the #colourpopgensan
  • Tag a lipstick addict friend as well. 😀  Yes, you and your friend will win the shades of your choice!

The lucky winners will be announced by the end of the month. Yes, you read it right. I said winnersssssssssssssssssssss. ❤

Good luck! ❤

NOTE: Discount is applicable for items in regular price 🙂 ❤

Tips to Fight Winter Depression

Having been born and raised in the Philippines, dealing with the harsh winter here in Denmark is tough for my husband and I. But we never let the winter blues get us. Through the years we have come up with some ideas that truly helps us fight the depression brought by winter.

Here are our top tips to fight winter depression.

  1. Go for a walk. I know this sound silly considering it is winter but taking even a 30-minute walk can truly help. It helps you keep your mind clear of negative thoughts and gives you time to breathe some fresh air. Also, this has been proven by studies to be really helpful in fighting winter blues.
  2. Engage in winter activities. Even if it is cold, there are still a lot of outdoor activities that you can do. Try skiing or maybe ice skating. There is an open- air ice skating rink in Frederiksberg Runddel, so try it. I’m sure you’ll have fun. But if you are like me who has issues with balance, errm maybe you can just sit back, relax and enjoy watching people fall.lol
  3. Go to the gym or do yoga. Winter is no excuse to be fit. If you hate outdoor activities because it is too cold, then go to the gym. I am pretty sure you’ll feel warm and energized there.
  4. Keep Warm. Make sure that you are well covered when you go outside. I know that it is not so fashionable but, never ever sacrifice your health for the sake of fashion, else you’ll feel more depressed when you get sick. 
  5. Take a short trip. If Copenhagen becomes too depressing for us, my husband and I take short trips to Malmø or even just in Helsingør. I know these places are equally cold, but going into a different environment helps us clear our minds, as well spend some quality time with each other.
  6. Hygge. I know you are all too familiar with this word already, but if you really don’t feel like going out, get a blanket, play a soft, relaxing music, light a candle, watch a movie or read a book. Try to make your room as relaxing and cozy as possible and simply enjoy life’s little pleasures.

I know these tips seem really basic, but that is the thing with winter depression, even the small things can mend it. These small things can really do wonders.

Another tip that I really want to share is this, ACCEPT THAT IT IS WINTER. It is cold. It is windy. But it’s not all that bad. You are in Denmark, the happiest place in the world. 🙂 Look around you, for sure you will find a reason or two to be happy.

This too shall pass, so just enjoy it and make the most of it.

P.S.

Here are some of the things that you can also do.

  • Hang out with your friends and family
  • Drinks Vitamins
  • Eat Healthy
  • Visit Museums and Parks

WARNING: Don’t let the white walkers get you! ❤

Disclaimer: My husband and I are not psychologists or anything related to that. These tips are just based on our experience. 🙂 We hope that this can help you as well. ❤

Why You Should Never Get Married

Did the title get your attention? Oh, it’s fine. I totally get why you’d open this blog. I mean, why would a married woman who looks so happy in social media pictures post a blog with such a ridiculous title? Simple. Because it’s true.
Now before all of you lash out at me, here me out for a second. Allow me to tell you the reason why.

1. You will lose your privacy.

Privacy? What’s that? That word will never exist once you are married. Sure people tell you that you can have your private space in a while,BUT you have to tell your partner what you did the whole time,like literally everything about each minute that had passed. Might as well just carry your partner around rather than tell a whole narrative for one hour just because you weren’t with each other for a minute. It’s not that your partner is jealous but they are just nosy and they want to know everything. Also, forget about your ‘private and cozy moments’ in the toilet. Telling them that you are in the toilet and doing number 2 is no excuse! They come and go as they please so (what the fudge) might as well leave that toilet door wide open!

2. Shared bank accounts.

Do you love shopping? Forget it. Forget everything you know about Louboutin, Jimmy Choo,Gucci, Chanel. From now on,all you’ll ever know is H and M, Primark and start considering Zara as a luxury. Be prepared though to have a house full of “toys” that you do not even know how to operate. Oculus, PS4, Gear S3 to name a few. (Not even sure if those are the right names) You think it’s not fair? Oh, why yes, of course, it’s not fair! Trust me though, having these toys is a must for your sanity’s sake.

3. Master the art of cooking.

You have a baby to feed now. Oh,you didn’t know? Having a husband is like having a baby, equally cute but just more hard-headed! You need to prepare food for them, wash their clothes, entertain them (if this does not work, give them toys. See #2.) and make sure they have everything they need else they’ll throw a major tantrum and it will not a great day for you,my friend. Once in a while, he will help you cook and do the chores but beware, there is always a price. Nothing in this world is free. (Ahem,toys)
That’s not all. There are so many things that you have to do and the expectations are extremely high. You are put on a pedestal and just like that, after a day of being married, everyone expects you to have grown thrice as much wiser. Although, since you are constantly getting a tough training every day, this is but given really.
Tough right? Whoever told you that getting married is a piece of cake surely is daydreaming. There is nothing easy about getting married! As a matter of fact, it only goes tougher especially when you have kids. But just like having kids,getting married has its ups too.
When you are sick, you know that someone will take good care of you. When you are sad, you know that someone will do everything just to make you smile. When you are tired, you know that someone will give you a bear hug and just like that, everything is better.
True, everything is better when you have a husband or a wife. You might feel like the world is on your shoulders. but it’s okay. Why? Because you know you have a constant support system. One that will never fail,  nor desert you. One that will always have your back, no matter what.
You might lose the privileges that you used to have when you were single, but you have so much more to gain. Nothing can ever compare to what you will get in exchange. The love that you will get is more precious than anything else in this world.
Marriage is never easy. I will never take that back, what I will tell you though is that in the end, it is worth it. It is worth all the headache and frustration because, in this world, you know that there is only one person who can make you happy and that is the one you married.
Love is always worth it. 
– Hannah Oliveros

Christmas Gift: Mac Please Me

Hey Ladies! I know we are all in love with lipsticks, especially those from the brands that we know. I for one loves the cosmetic brand called MAC. And since it is holiday season, I am sharing to you one of my favorite shade on their matte line for free! “Please Me.”

Mechanics:

  1. Go to my website and comment on my Event post, “Christmas Gift: Mac Please Me”
  2. On the comment just say why you love Mac.

Alternate: Instagram

  1. Post a picture of you or anything at all related to cosmetics
  2. Tell me why you love Mac and use the #theprobingwife #macDK

    The winner will be chosen via an online raffle at the end of the month. Good luck!  There will also be some extra prices for chosen participants.