Tag Archives: married life

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Why You Should Never Get Married

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Did the title get your attention? Oh, it’s fine. I totally get why you’d open this blog. I mean, why would a married woman who looks so happy in social media pictures post a blog with such a ridiculous title? Simple. Because it’s true.
Now before all of you lash out at me, here me out for a second. Allow me to tell you the reason why.

1. You will lose your privacy.

Privacy? What’s that? That word will never exist once you are married. Sure people tell you that you can have your private space in a while,BUT you have to tell your partner what you did the whole time,like literally everything about each minute that had passed. Might as well just carry your partner around rather than tell a whole narrative for one hour just because you weren’t with each other for a minute. It’s not that your partner is jealous but they are just nosy and they want to know everything. Also, forget about your ‘private and cozy moments’ in the toilet. Telling them that you are in the toilet and doing number 2 is no excuse! They come and go as they please so (what the fudge) might as well leave that toilet door wide open!

2. Shared bank accounts.

Do you love shopping? Forget it. Forget everything you know about Louboutin, Jimmy Choo,Gucci, Chanel. From now on,all you’ll ever know is H and M, Primark and start considering Zara as a luxury. Be prepared though to have a house full of “toys” that you do not even know how to operate. Oculus, PS4, Gear S3 to name a few. (Not even sure if those are the right names) You think it’s not fair? Oh, why yes, of course, it’s not fair! Trust me though, having these toys is a must for your sanity’s sake.

3. Master the art of cooking.

You have a baby to feed now. Oh,you didn’t know? Having a husband is like having a baby, equally cute but just more hard-headed! You need to prepare food for them, wash their clothes, entertain them (if this does not work, give them toys. See #2.) and make sure they have everything they need else they’ll throw a major tantrum and it will not a great day for you,my friend. Once in a while, he will help you cook and do the chores but beware, there is always a price. Nothing in this world is free. (Ahem,toys)
That’s not all. There are so many things that you have to do and the expectations are extremely high. You are put on a pedestal and just like that, after a day of being married, everyone expects you to have grown thrice as much wiser. Although, since you are constantly getting a tough training every day, this is but given really.
Tough right? Whoever told you that getting married is a piece of cake surely is daydreaming. There is nothing easy about getting married! As a matter of fact, it only goes tougher especially when you have kids. But just like having kids,getting married has its ups too.
When you are sick, you know that someone will take good care of you. When you are sad, you know that someone will do everything just to make you smile. When you are tired, you know that someone will give you a bear hug and just like that, everything is better.
True, everything is better when you have a husband or a wife. You might feel like the world is on your shoulders. but it’s okay. Why? Because you know you have a constant support system. One that will never fail,  nor desert you. One that will always have your back, no matter what.
You might lose the privileges that you used to have when you were single, but you have so much more to gain. Nothing can ever compare to what you will get in exchange. The love that you will get is more precious than anything else in this world.
Marriage is never easy. I will never take that back, what I will tell you though is that in the end, it is worth it. It is worth all the headache and frustration because, in this world, you know that there is only one person who can make you happy and that is the one you married.
Love is always worth it. 
– Hannah Oliveros
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Code of the Developer’s Wife

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My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now. And just like any other couple, we have had our share of ups and downs. But as time goes by, we have learned to accept the differences and work on the things we are not compatible on.

One of the things I have learned in the course of our marriage is that work for him is a totally different spectrum. He pours his heart and mind in his work. On the first year of our marriage, it was hard for me to understand why I cannot bother him when he is in front of his computer. I mean, he is basically just facing stuff that look like this. <“style>()>>>{{[[[[>>>if:>!

In the eyes of ordinary people, (I mean those who has no idea about software development/coding) this is all look like… gibberish. That is how I saw it as well. He called it to code, I call it a headache. But over time, out of this headache, I found my own code. And these are the “codes” I follow to understand my husband.

  1. If in front of the computer, do not disturb. There was an incident where I found my husband just staring at his computer so I shouted trying to surprise him hoping he would laugh. But all I got was a frown and a hint of irritation because he lost his train of thought/code. So I have learned to never do it again.
  2. If headphones are on, do not disturb. When my husband has earphones or headphones on, that means he is in the “zone.” And when a developer is in the “zone“, the last thing that you can do is disturb them. Unless of course, you want to experience World War II in your very own house.
  3. If you are telling your husband something and his face looks blank, do not be angry at him. He is not trying to ignore you. He is actually trying to understand what you are saying. This usually happens when he has been so engrossed with all the codes that he is trying to do and decipher. His mind has been working on complex algorithms and even more complex coding languages  that he is back to square one in understanding the “common language.” Give him a few hours and he’ll be back to earth, don’t worry! Just try to keep your patience for a few hours while he is on a Martian mode.lol
  4. If he tells you it is “code red, can’t go home early”, do not be angry at him. He is not having an affair with a woman who is in “code red”. He is merely saying, “My love I can’t go home because there is a problem in the office I have to solve immediately.” Remember, their mind works like codes. So they say everything Uncle Bob style. Concise and clean.
  5. If he tells you he has `Go live,` do not stay on Facebook the whole day and wait for him to go “live”. You will be very disappointed because you will hardly even see him online. What he is trying to tell you is that the product that they developed is done so they are pushing it to production and it can be used by their clients already! Trust me, that is too long for them so say so they’ll revert back to Uncle Bob’s principle. 
  6. If he tells you, no defect! Don’t just stand there and say OK. Hug him, kiss him! Celebrate with him! This means that his code is clean and he did it really well. It’s almost the same with getting a perfect score in an exam! So go and give him the sweetest and biggest hug you can manage!

I am not saying however that my husband is not sweet or doesn’t talk to me at all. What I am trying to point out here is that there is a huge difference between us brought about by our chosen profession. BUT this difference is not enough to make us love each other less. In fact, I  am saying that because of this huge difference, I was able to love him more.

I was able to appreciate the fact that he is very careful with his words. He doesn’t just say things without thinking about twice, in that way we avoid hurting each other verbally. He is so serious when he is working but this doesn’t mean I can’t give him a quick kiss on the cheeks nor give him a quick hug. Based on my experience, when my husband is so stressed, a quick hug changes his mood and perspective thus making him more productive.

I know it will take some “getting-used-to” in order for you to understand the things that he is saying but you’ll get there. You will both reach that stage that even just a look in the eyes, you will know what each other is thinking. You will get to the point that even a simple nod would mean a whole lot of other things.

You can’t code a perfect married life, it simply doesn’t work that way. There will always be defects along the way. Bugs that needed to be removed. Work around that needs to be done. But that is what make it amazing! It is unpredictable but very stable because …….

<h1><span style=”background-color: #ff0000; color: #ffffff;”><strong>Love is greater than anything&nbsp;<img src=”https://html-online.com/editor/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif&#8221; alt=”embarassed” /></strong></span></h1>

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