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Blogs, fashion

Trusted Instagram Shops

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The people who know me well definitely know that I hate shopping. Unlike most people, I do not find happiness in trying out new clothes or shoes. I dislike doing those because I feel like it is very tiresome to do the fitting.

That is why when I was introduced to Instagram shops, I was immediately hooked. I do not buy a lot of items but there are a few shops that I have definitely tried and tested.

Here’s the list of the shops I recommend:

  1. B Boutique.

    This is a luxury online shop that sells ONLY authentic items from Japan. They sell a wide range of products. They have cosmetic products, luxury bags, clothes and even jewelry. One of the things I like about this store is that they have a physical location as well. If ever you are in Antipolo, make sure to drop by in this store. Oh, did I mention, they accept layaway and credit cards too!

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2. Theainstashop.

This shop is a fashionista and beauty enthusiasts’ heaven! If ever you need anything for your OOTD or makeup collection this is the shop for you! You can check out their physical location as well but be ready to spend some cash as this store sells items at a really low price and I am sure you will be tempted to buy one or two items.

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3. RavenCloset.

This online store sells branded clothes. They have both brands new and pre-loved. This is actually one of the first online stores that I have used and trusted. If you base solely on their followings, you will know that this IG store is really legit!What’s amazing about this store? The owner is very polite and prompt in answering questions PLUS all the items as sold at a very cheap price!

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4. Primanddapper.

This store basically sells clothes. They sell items that are perfect for your OOTD’s. What do I love about this store? The price! The clothes are so trendy yet super affordable! This store is the perfect manifestation that fashion does not always have to break a bank.

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5. Ervaise.

This is a relatively new online shop. They sell jewelry and luxury bags. What I love about this shop? They ship worldwide and they have

This is a relatively new online shop. They sell jewelry and luxury bags. What I love about this shop? They ship worldwide and they have money back guarantee if the bag is proven fake!

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6. 9.Jewels.

This is a clothing store that sells really fashionable Korean inspired clothes. The owners are beyond amazing and really polite! If you want to buy affordable yet trendy asian fashion inspired clothes, this store is perfect for you!

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7. Prelovewithlove.

This is a shop that mainly sells secondhand items but they also have brand new ones. They are selling luxury bags as well as shoes. What I love about this shop? The price! So cheap!!!

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This post is not yet done. I will update this every time I have tried buying something from other shops. 

 Disclaimer: This is not a paid post. I wrote this because I simply want to share the online stores that I trust. 

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Blogs, Uncategorized

Code of the Developer’s Wife

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My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now. And just like any other couple, we have had our share of ups and downs. But as time goes by, we have learned to accept the differences and work on the things we are not compatible on.

One of the things I have learned in the course of our marriage is that work for him is a totally different spectrum. He pours his heart and mind in his work. On the first year of our marriage, it was hard for me to understand why I cannot bother him when he is in front of his computer. I mean, he is basically just facing stuff that look like this. <“style>()>>>{{[[[[>>>if:>!

In the eyes of ordinary people, (I mean those who has no idea about software development/coding) this is all look like… gibberish. That is how I saw it as well. He called it to code, I call it a headache. But over time, out of this headache, I found my own code. And these are the “codes” I follow to understand my husband.

  1. If in front of the computer, do not disturb. There was an incident where I found my husband just staring at his computer so I shouted trying to surprise him hoping he would laugh. But all I got was a frown and a hint of irritation because he lost his train of thought/code. So I have learned to never do it again.
  2. If headphones are on, do not disturb. When my husband has earphones or headphones on, that means he is in the “zone.” And when a developer is in the “zone“, the last thing that you can do is disturb them. Unless of course, you want to experience World War II in your very own house.
  3. If you are telling your husband something and his face looks blank, do not be angry at him. He is not trying to ignore you. He is actually trying to understand what you are saying. This usually happens when he has been so engrossed with all the codes that he is trying to do and decipher. His mind has been working on complex algorithms and even more complex coding languages  that he is back to square one in understanding the “common language.” Give him a few hours and he’ll be back to earth, don’t worry! Just try to keep your patience for a few hours while he is on a Martian mode.lol
  4. If he tells you it is “code red, can’t go home early”, do not be angry at him. He is not having an affair with a woman who is in “code red”. He is merely saying, “My love I can’t go home because there is a problem in the office I have to solve immediately.” Remember, their mind works like codes. So they say everything Uncle Bob style. Concise and clean.
  5. If he tells you he has `Go live,` do not stay on Facebook the whole day and wait for him to go “live”. You will be very disappointed because you will hardly even see him online. What he is trying to tell you is that the product that they developed is done so they are pushing it to production and it can be used by their clients already! Trust me, that is too long for them so say so they’ll revert back to Uncle Bob’s principle. 
  6. If he tells you, no defect! Don’t just stand there and say OK. Hug him, kiss him! Celebrate with him! This means that his code is clean and he did it really well. It’s almost the same with getting a perfect score in an exam! So go and give him the sweetest and biggest hug you can manage!

I am not saying however that my husband is not sweet or doesn’t talk to me at all. What I am trying to point out here is that there is a huge difference between us brought about by our chosen profession. BUT this difference is not enough to make us love each other less. In fact, I  am saying that because of this huge difference, I was able to love him more.

I was able to appreciate the fact that he is very careful with his words. He doesn’t just say things without thinking about twice, in that way we avoid hurting each other verbally. He is so serious when he is working but this doesn’t mean I can’t give him a quick kiss on the cheeks nor give him a quick hug. Based on my experience, when my husband is so stressed, a quick hug changes his mood and perspective thus making him more productive.

I know it will take some “getting-used-to” in order for you to understand the things that he is saying but you’ll get there. You will both reach that stage that even just a look in the eyes, you will know what each other is thinking. You will get to the point that even a simple nod would mean a whole lot of other things.

You can’t code a perfect married life, it simply doesn’t work that way. There will always be defects along the way. Bugs that needed to be removed. Work around that needs to be done. But that is what make it amazing! It is unpredictable but very stable because …….

<h1><span style=”background-color: #ff0000; color: #ffffff;”><strong>Love is greater than anything&nbsp;<img src=”https://html-online.com/editor/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif&#8221; alt=”embarassed” /></strong></span></h1>

Copy and paste the code here.

 

Blogs, opinion

MFS:’Tards Saying Davao Deserved the Bombing.

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It was Friday, September 2 (Copenhagen,Denmark) when I read the news about the bombing in Davao City. Worried was an understatement for how I truly felt that time. I have a lot of friends from Davao, in fact, I have lived in Davao for some time so it came as a shock to me when I heard the news.

Being born and raised in the Southern part of the Philippines, I have seen first hand the result of this extremists actions. I have even volunteered to go to war-torn areas and join groups giving psychological interventions to kids that are affected and traumatized by haunting events like this. So the news wasn’t new to me, but it is still didn’t make it easier.

I grew up in General Santos City and we have had our share of this senseless killing as well. It is so heart-wrenching for me to even just remember how scared I was during those unsafe times. I was always scared, very vigilant and suspicious of everyone. There was even a time I didn’t want to go out because I really felt scared.

It is for this reason that I give my big fat MIDDLE FINGER SALUTE to all the retarded Filipinos who said, that Davao deserved what it got. That it is a Karma for the Davaoeños because they are so proud. That it is not true after all that Davao is a safe city.

I admit, Davaoeños as boastful. They boast and brag all the time that they have 911. That they can roam around their streets at night bust still feel secured. BUT they have all the right to be! Their LGU is really good, if not the best in the Philippines. Let’s not be hypocrite, let’s all admit that we envy them. We all envy them because they have city officials who truly care for them. They have city officials who makes SERVING the PEOPLE a priority! However, even if they boast about it, it is still not a reason enough for you to rejoice in their misfortune. As a matter of fact, no reason is big enough for anyone to hope for misfortunes to happen to others.

You say it is “karma” for the Davaoeños, why? Do bad luck happen to those who follow the law? Do bad karma go after the happy and contented people living in an amazing city? NO! They just happened to be victims. Victim of war, terror and senseless killing! Instead of saying nonsense things like “karma” and all, why not pray for them and for their family?

DAVAO CITY IS SAFE and it will always be safe because they have LGU that protects them. They have LGU that ensures their security. Yes, a bomb exploded but that is because it was targeted. It’s not like everyday a bomb explode in Davao. This is a very specific incident planned by the extremists to hurt the head of the country. It is not about Davao’s safety. It is about Davao being hand-picked by infamous terrorists.

We all have our share on what happened to Davao. We urged Duterte to run for president despite the obvious that he really didn’t want to. They mercilessly attacked his city while he was so busy looking after everyone else! We took out the King Eagle out of his nest to help us, and now, is this how we pay back everything that he has done? By beaing a traitor to our own kind and turning our back the moment they need us most?

It was so amazing to see how we changed our profile pictures during the bomb explosion in Paris. It was so amazing to see the #’s we used for the bombing in Belgium…BUT why can’t we do the same for our country? Why can’t we show our fellowmen the warmth and care that we showed to the people France, Belgium, USA and etc. Why?

Instead of cultivating more hate and animosity, why not offer a prayer to the victims and their family? Why spread the hate? Why spread the animosity? Why rejoice on people’s misfortune?

I hope and pray that you will not suffer the same fate that the victim had suffered. I hope and pray that you will never ever experience and feel the same hopeless and scared feeling we felt. I hope and pray that you will be safe despite your crooked thinking…However, that will not stop me from giving you a MIDDLE FINGER SALUTE!

NOTE:

If you do not like what’s written here, feel free to unfollow. 🙂

 

Blogs, Travel, Uncategorized

Superman’s Patience Amazed Me.

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August 26,2016. That was the day that one of my biggest and grandest dream growing up came true. I can and will never forget that day, because, on that very day, I was able to say “I went to London to visit the queen.”

Of course, in reality, I did not go to London to visit the queen. I was there for a vacation with the love of my life. Upon arrival at Luton Airport, I was already filled with awe and excitement. I felt like my knees are going Jell-O and butterflies are in my tummy. When my passport was stamped and was told by the immigration officer, “Welcome to London”, I smiled from ear to ear and I couldn’t hide my excitement at all.

My husband and I took the train from Luton Railway Park to London. We were supposed to go down Farringdon Station and then take the circle line to Aldgate East because that was the address of the AirBnB apartment we rented. When we boarded out of Farringdon Station, I was really ecstatic. I couldn’t believe how lucky and blessed I am because I was given the opportunity to visit LONDON!

And then it hit me, I left my handbag on the train. I shouted, “Dad, I left my bag on the train!” And as if those were the magic words, the doors of the train closed and I saw right in front of me the train was speeding away. My heart that was once filled with happiness was suddenly filled with horror. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Our passports were there, along with my wallet with all my credit cards, our vacation budget, and my husband’s beloved phone!

I immediately tried to look for any track officer but nobody was around so I asked the people who were there if they know where is the station office, they said it is upstairs so my husband and I ran and went up. The information said I should go down again and go to the office in platform 4. It felt like I was running against time!

The officers in the office immediately tried to help me. They asked for the pertinent details regarding the train we took. Thank God because He gave my husband and I a clear mind that time despite the pressure so we were able to remember details like we were seated in the 2nd coach, in front of the handicap toilet, the train was headed for Brighton we left Luton Railway Park at 9:37.

The officer communicated with the next station, so we waited for their reply. When they called back, they said that the train just passed them. So he called the next station, Blackfriars and they said they will check it. A few minutes have passed and then Blackfriars said they do not have it. I felt like my world crashed. I can see the disappointment on my husband’s face.

The officer said he relayed the message to the central office so they will send an email to all the stations. Then Blackfriars called again and they said they found a bag that is colored purple. I would have been really happy except for the fact that my bag wasn’t purple. It was beige so I was dismayed yet again.

Then an idea popped in my mind. I asked my husband if he could track his phone. I know it is possible in iPhone through Find my iPhone app but I wasn’t sure if it can be done in android phones since my husband is using Samsung. But ‘Lo and behold, my husband was able to track his phone! It was somewhere in Blackfriars!I don’t know what he did, but he was able to do so! Thank God for giving me a husband who knows nothing about giving up!

We showed it to the officer and he was surprised but he said that if that is the exact location, my phone might not be on the train anymore so someone must have taken it. With all the might he can muster my husband said he will go there anyway and check it himself. Since all our cash is in my bag, we can’t buy a ticket so the officer issued a pass that my husband can use so he can go to Blackfriars and back again to Farringdon.

I asked my husband if I should come with him, but there was a flicker of concern in his eyes. Like a bear worried and really protective of his cub. He said no. He told me to stay with the inspectors instead. And I know, deep down my husband wasn’t sure if it will be safe for us so he chose to go alone instead.

After my husband left, I fervently prayed. I prayed the rosary and called unto God to protect my husband and bring back my bag along with everything inside it. Minutes became hours. And with every second, my anxiety just grow more.

Then came the moment of truth. The train arrived in Brighton. I was crying so hard since the time my husband left, and the inspectors are starting to worry about me. I heard the phone rang, and then in between sobs, I overheard the inspector say, “There’s nothing more that we can do”… So I know, it was clear, they were not able to find my bag.

I can hear them pointing fingers on who should tell me. Maybe because I was really crying so hard that it scared them or they just feel sorry for me. But whatever their reason may be, I couldn’t be happier with their timing. Because just when they were about to approach me, my husband came. And on his arm was my bag.

I hugged my husband so tight. I was so happy that he is alright and that he found my bag. He smiled at me and told me to say thank you to the enforcers. After we left the office, I told my husband again how sorry I was for causing all the trouble. And he just said, “It’s okay. We got your bag back so it’s fine now.” I felt his sincerity and I know I am loved.

During the whole crazy and panic moments, my husband kept his calm and was nothing short of amazing. He just asked politely “What was I thinking, how come I forgot about my bag.” He even told me to stop crying because he was worried I might have an asthma attack.

I can never be more thankful that I have such an amazing husband. He is really very understanding and very caring. He is not as verbose as other guys but he is so much more gentle and loving. He is very protective of me and always gives me the best. My husband is my Superman. And my Superman’s patience truly did amaze me.

Blogs, Uncategorized

It’s the Thought that Counts

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“Sharing is caring”, may seem like one the world’s most cliché adage.  (Time is gold tops it.) We hear it almost every day of our life. We know that we ought to help one another. We ought to share our blessing. We know that we ought to help without expecting anything in return.

But why is it so hard to do?

Last Sunday, July 10, 2016, my husband and I attended the mass. The sermon that father gave was about Sharing. He spoke about sharing your time, talent and treasure. This concept is not new to me. I have always loved helping people. When I was younger, I would go up the mountains, to far-flung places even, just to help our less fortunate brothers and sisters through teaching them or to simply just giving them small gifts. The children in the area cannot go to school because the nearest one is about 3 hours walk from their area and mind you, the way there is not easy. You have to cross mountains, walk through slippery slopes and even walk through a bridge made of two bamboo trees/stems tied together.

Every time I go to those areas, I feel like I was always hanging for dear life. Apart from those far-flung areas, I have been to areas where armed rebels have devastated so the chances of them coming back is not remote and, ‘lo and behold,it did happen once or twice. I know it is dangerous, I know it is tiring but there is always something that pulls me back every time I feel like I can not do it anymore.

At first, I thought it was my love for the children that motivates me. Seeing them smile made me really happy but while listening to the sermon last Sunday, I realized it was not just their smile that motivated me. It was the joy of giving that was filling me. The happiness that I felt seeing the kids smile and knowing that I have been an instrument of the happiness that they feel overwhelmed me. It feels so good to know that even though I was just doing a small thing, it made them glad and it mattered to them.

However, when we (my husband and I) moved here in Denmark, I felt like it is hard to share our treasure with other people. Honestly, my husband and I are not rich. We live a comfortable life but we are not rich. Apart from that, Denmark is a very expensive country! As much as we want to give to the less fortunate, financial constraints limit the help we can give. We are not complaining, though. We know that we are really lucky and we are so blessed to be living the life that we have. And since we feel really blessed, we want to pass it forward. We want to help others who are in need and share our blessings.

So my husband and I thought of ways to help others without the thought of financial constraints limit us. We accepted the fact that we cannot share TREASURE as much as we want so we focused on sharing our TIME and TALENT.

How did we do it? 

Simple. When we have friends who ask us for help in moving heavy things in their unit, we go and help. We offer our time to look after their kids if they are busy. We spend time with them and just do nothing but listen if they are going through tough times. When they are celebrating a milestone in their life, my husband volunteers as photographer/videographer and me as host/emcee. No buts, no excuses. Expecting nothing in return.

I know what these are just little things but it does not matter. What matters to my husband and I is that we are doing it from the heart. We just want to help, and if these are just what we can do, then be it. At the end of the day, it is always the thought that counts.

 

Photo credit: cogdogblog via Foter.com / CC BY

Blogs, Uncategorized

Choose Forgiveness

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Photo credit: Keoni Cabral via Foter.com / CC BY

In our everyday life, we always come to a point where we are deeply hurt that we feel like crushing and shattering beyond repair. The pain might be caused by our terrible bosses, friends, lovers, strangers or even just self-inflicted. Point is, we are deeply hurt and pain is something that is very inevitable. We will certainly come across it.

But how do we react towards pain? Ah! Most of the time, we give the same amount of pain to whoever hurts us. Its very normal for us to act that way because we feel like they deserve it. As Newton puts it, In every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Like if someone push you, you’d push that person as well using equal force, thus making you stay in the same place and making you even. But it is non sequitur, that what is normal is right. It is not always about getting even nor inflicting even greater pain. It is about Forgiveness.

True it is much easier to hate or to get your vengeance but, see it in this way. If all of us will not forgive, if all of us will take our vengeance, what will happen to our dear planet? We will certainly be living in a world filled with chaos, hate and suffering. We must never let this happen. It may not be easy to forgive but try to look for it in your heart. We always have a room for forgiveness just as God has forgiven us. Open your heart for other people and try to see beyond the faults and mistakes.

God never wants us to suffer. God never wants us to hate. God wants us to forgive.

When we suffer, we hate. When we hate we never forgive. So before this happens, pray. Pray even before pain or suffering starts. In the same way, even before we will be hurt, we have already forgiven.

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.- Matthew 18:22

 

 

Writer’s Note: This is an article I wrote when I was in College. I didn’t know what I was going through then but I think this article is very much timely.

Blogs, Uncategorized

Fiery Summer

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1997. The summer heat is once more felt. Leaving on a tropical island, it is but just expected that the temperature would really rise. I just arrived in my hometown which is a two-hour drive from the city where we are already based. I feel so excited about seeing the familiar houses, the familiar streets, the familiar faces. I wasn’t able to go back here for four long years. My parents sent me to the city so that I could go to some prestigious school and to have what they call “quality education”. Back then, I didn’t know that life is much more complicated in the metro. Life is much faster and I learned that every second lost costs a lot.

I asked my granny to allow me to go out of the big house so that I could play with some of my childhood friends. Still, in my shorts and snickers, I went out to go to my friend’s house. There, we played like there’s no tomorrow. Panting and sweating all over, we decided to rest for a while.
On a distance, I saw some group of guys coming and I am very sure that one of them is my brother. I know him more than anyone else in this world and I know his type of friends. He’s not a saint and I know he wouldn’t want a saint for a friend. I turned my back when I saw them coming.  Not that I don’t want to see my brother, it’s just that I would like to have some moments of silence which, for sure I will never have with them around.

I was about to enter my friend’s house when my cousin, who’s part of my brothers pack called me and told me to meet their friends. What can I do? Even if all I really wanted to do is get away from that place, I can’t turn down such a small favor for my cousin. Slowly, I turned and was just about to give their friends a nod when I saw the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. I read on the crazy books that I have that every time the girl sees the guy she loves, the world stops and the beat of her heart raises like that of hundred galloping horses at the same time. I never believed it not until that day. I really did feel the world stop and my heart beat raised as well.

Even if I was stupefied for the first time, I was able to remember his name, Avery Blake. I didn’t know if it was love but every time I see him, I can hear birds singing the song of love, the wind whispering about love that will forever stay. We never really had long talks, we just say hi’s and hellos. I was very disappointed because he, the only person whom I would like to talk for eternity never bothered to engage even in short conversations with me.

Years past and I’ve known that he had been into a lot of relationships. He never bothered to love only one girl. Yes, my Adonis had been a real playboy and it hurts me. How could he lay his eyes on many girls and not even notice me? Every time I think of this, my eyes always fill with a stream of tears. I am deeply hurt by the thought that the one I love never bothered to lay his eyes on me, not even for a second.

Eight years after my last vacation in my hometown, I decided to come back. I realized that it’s time for me to face him and that fact that he will never like me and friendship is all that he could offer. I went there to stay for a week and go back to the city immediately to continue my summer lessons. Days passed without the sight of him. I really wanted to see him and ask how he is feeling, if he is alright and what’s new with him… I just wanted to know everything about him. I patiently waited for him, but just like before, my efforts were wasted. The day before I intend to leave, still in my pajamas, I went downstairs to have my breakfast and sleep again. Yup, I have a weird routine. When I was in the bottom of the stairs, I realized that my uncle was talking to someone outside so I fixed my hair and tried to look a little more decent  before the guest sees me. I wore my big morning smile and went towards my uncles’ direction to greet him and his visitor a good morning. Walking towards my uncle’s direction, I saw him flash a teasing smile on me and I was really puzzled by his reaction. I smiled at him first and turned to smile at the visitor and that’s when I realize why my uncle gave me that smile. His visitor is no other than my ultimate crush, Avery Blake. For some reason, my uncle immediately went inside so that Avery and I are left all by ourselves.

I was really starting to feel so awkward. He was staring at me like it’s the first time he saw me.
“Avery!” I said. “Why are you staring at me? Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?”
He didn’t answer back immediately, so I thought my statement would just fall on deaf ears. “You changed…” He said after some time. “You are no longer the sweet and simple girl I used to know. You used to be sweet and so humble. So pure and so true.”

I don’t know if it was an insult or what but I felt like boiling water was just poured on me. “So what? Who cares if I changed? I mean, don’t I have the freedom to grow up and be the girl I want to be? ” Sobbing, I added. “ I may have changed… but it’s all because of you. I did everything just so you would notice me. But you didn’t even bother to lay your eyes on me.”

He stared at me and that stare sent shivers on my spine. It’s like he wanted to say something but he’s holding back. It was too late for me to realize that tears are already falling from my eyes. How could he say that to me? After everything that I did just so he would notice me… Hurt with what he said, I decided to go upstairs and pack my bags. I will leave on that very day and go back to the city. Never again will I go back to that place and never again will I say his name.

After that talk we had, he did everything to reach me. He called, texted, e- mailed and even went to the city just to see me. But I don’t want to see him. The pain still lingers. I can still hear the words he said and remember how those words broke my heart.

Three years past and it’s again another summer. I just graduated from college and will be celebrating my birthday in few days time. My friends and I planned to go to Boracay to celebrate my birthday and graduation. On the 16th of April, the day of our flight to Bora, mom called and told me that I have to go back to our hometown. It’s still 6 o’ clock in the morning. What would I do there? She just added that they are already there waiting for me. I was wondering why they went there. They told me yesterday that they’ll go to Bukidnon to check out some business matters so it made no sense that they are in our hometown. I tried to negotiate with my mom and ask her if I could just go there on the 21st, the very day of my arrival from Bora.

“Do what I ask you to do if you don’t want to regret for the rest of your life. This is for you to realize that love is not always about saying I love you, it’s sometimes about saying goodbye to the one you love just so she would feel lesser pain the moment you say your final goodbye.” Mom said.

I feel like I have an idea of what she is saying, and I am honestly not ready for it. So I said in a very arrogant manner that everything can wait. “Let that matter wait for me until I’m back from Bora.”

10 o’clock in the morning. The very moment our flight was called, I heard my phone ring. No number was displayed on the screen. Thinking that it’s another emergency, I answered the phone and said hello.

“You have always been the angel in my dreams. The girl I forever long to be with, the melody I wanted to hear for a lifetime. It is just sad to know that I don’t have a lifetime. I have only now. Don’t look back. Face your future with much strength for I will forever be with you.”

The line went dead immediately. I didn’t know who the caller was, I don’t know anything about him but tears fell from my eyes. Sadness burned me like those from the fires of hell. My friends asked me what’s wrong… I said I just feel sad. And they all laughed. The Drama Queen is with them!

Before I board the plane, the flight attendant gave me a small blue box. “What’s this? Who asked you to give this to me?” I asked.

“An hour before your flight, a guy in white asked me to give this to you. He said that I would be able to recognize you through the H initialed necklace you are wearing.” Said the attendant.

H initialed necklace… the necklace I found in the pouch of my bag…I asked my friends who owns it but they wouldn’t say, so I kept it. I said thank you to the attendant and made my way to my seat. The attendants instructed us that we must turn off our phones. I saw that I have 15 unread messages but I didn’t bother to open it. I put the blue box in my bag and head on to Boracay.

When I arrived in Bora, I opened my phone and called my mom. “Don’t bother to reach me, mom. I’ll turn off my phone so that I could fully enjoy the place. The thing that you were saying, let it wait. I have forever to deal with it.” I hurriedly turned off my phone. I was not ready to hear whatever my mom has to say.

After 5 days of partying and sunbathing in Bora, it’s time for me to come home. Yes, I enjoyed my stay on the beautiful paradise but, I feel like I’m losing something. Like there is a void in my heart but I don’t know why… When I arrived in GenSan, my mom called me and asked me if I could now go to my hometown. For five days, that was the only time I opened my phone so messages flooded. Most of it were just quotations so I marked them all to be deleted. I caught a glimpse of some of the messages which say about goodbyes, life, sorry, lost and more. Just when I deleted the messages, my phone got busted.

Remembering what I told mom about going home, I got into the garage to get my car and started driving towards my hometown. I arrived there around 5:30 in the afternoon . When people saw my car coming, I didn’t know if it was just me but I could really feel like they are all staring at me.

When I arrived at the big house, I saw some of my friends and the mom of Avery. Obviously, she just recovered from long hours of crying. I can feel like something is wrong. I felt just like the way I did the time I received the unknown call and when the blue box was given to me. Blue Box! I forgot about the blue box. Before I say hi to them, I went back to my car to get the blue box. I said hi to all of them and they just stared at me. But the reaction of Avery’s mother was different. It’s more of like shock and amazement.

“Where did you get that blue box?” she asked. I told her about how the attendant handed me the box and to whom it came from according to her. I even added about the call and the H initialed necklace.

After hearing my story, she sobbed and was trying to hold back her tears. “What’s wrong?” I asked impatiently. Instead of answering my question, she just handed me a thick blue paper. I opened it and read what was inside.

H,

I know I hurt you when I said you changed and how I love the old you. I know you would run away and wouldn’t bother to face me. I was hurting you. I asked myself a lot of times, how could I hurt someone like you? How could I hurt a girl so pure and true? How could I hurt the girl whom my heart shouts for?

You may be wondering why until now, nobody would claim that “H” necklace. It was not by accident that you found it in your bag. I placed it there just so you would remember that every time you wear that necklace, you have my heart with you. I loved you even before I learned my alphabet. I feel like there is no beginning and end when I am with you, only eternity.

Your happiness is the most important thing for me. Even if it hurts, even if I wanted to say “I love you”, I said “goodbye”. No, I didn’t give up. I just know that you will be much more hurt if you hear me say my final goodbye.

Yes, I am saying goodbye. I prayed and asked God to give me more time. Just enough time for me to say and show how much I love you and how much I am willing to give up everything for you. But He wouldn’t give me that time. Maybe, He has His reasons. Whatever it may be, I just hope that you’ll be OK and that He will give you someone who will love you much more than I loved you.

Don’t blame yourself for the things you didn’t do and wasn’t able to do. It’s not you, its fate who decided that our story will end long before it ever started. I tried to love some other girls but I can’t. It’s you whom my heart shouts for. It’s your name whom I shouted for at the sunset of my life.

You have always been the angel in my dreams. The girl I forever long to be with, the melody I wanted to hear for a lifetime. It is just sad to know that I don’t have a lifetime. I have only now. Don’t look back. Face your future with much strength for I will forever be with you.

Open the blue box and there you will find my treasures, the things that I cherished most in my existence.

Forever and Always,
Avery

After reading the letter, I opened the box and surprisingly saw pictures of me. I saw the poems I wrote for him which I threw away and the handkerchief he gave me to wipe my sweat the very first day I met him.

Then, his mom spoke, “He has a serious heart problem. He was diagnosed summer of 2008”.

I looked up into the sky and saw how my fiery summer turned into cold winter. How could a hot season be so cold that I am so frozen and couldn’t even move an inch of my muscle? Regrets? I don’t have any… I know, even if our story ended so soon, it will forever stay just like those that are written in the channels of history. Just how ironic is this. I lost him on the very day I met him.

PS
This is purely out of my imagination. Sorry for the typos though! 😉