Code of the Developer’s Wife

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now. And just like any other couple, we have had our share of ups and downs. But as time goes by, we have learned to accept the differences and work on the things we are not compatible on.

One of the things I have learned in the course of our marriage is that work for him is a totally different spectrum. He pours his heart and mind in his work. On the first year of our marriage, it was hard for me to understand why I cannot bother him when he is in front of his computer. I mean, he is basically just facing stuff that look like this. <“style>()>>>{{[[[[>>>if:>!

In the eyes of ordinary people, (I mean those who has no idea about software development/coding) this is all look like… gibberish. That is how I saw it as well. He called it to code, I call it a headache. But over time, out of this headache, I found my own code. And these are the “codes” I follow to understand my husband.

  1. If in front of the computer, do not disturb. There was an incident where I found my husband just staring at his computer so I shouted trying to surprise him hoping he would laugh. But all I got was a frown and a hint of irritation because he lost his train of thought/code. So I have learned to never do it again.
  2. If headphones are on, do not disturb. When my husband has earphones or headphones on, that means he is in the “zone.” And when a developer is in the “zone“, the last thing that you can do is disturb them. Unless of course, you want to experience World War II in your very own house.
  3. If you are telling your husband something and his face looks blank, do not be angry at him. He is not trying to ignore you. He is actually trying to understand what you are saying. This usually happens when he has been so engrossed with all the codes that he is trying to do and decipher. His mind has been working on complex algorithms and even more complex coding languages  that he is back to square one in understanding the “common language.” Give him a few hours and he’ll be back to earth, don’t worry! Just try to keep your patience for a few hours while he is on a Martian mode.lol
  4. If he tells you it is “code red, can’t go home early”, do not be angry at him. He is not having an affair with a woman who is in “code red”. He is merely saying, “My love I can’t go home because there is a problem in the office I have to solve immediately.” Remember, their mind works like codes. So they say everything Uncle Bob style. Concise and clean.
  5. If he tells you he has `Go live,` do not stay on Facebook the whole day and wait for him to go “live”. You will be very disappointed because you will hardly even see him online. What he is trying to tell you is that the product that they developed is done so they are pushing it to production and it can be used by their clients already! Trust me, that is too long for them so say so they’ll revert back to Uncle Bob’s principle. 
  6. If he tells you, no defect! Don’t just stand there and say OK. Hug him, kiss him! Celebrate with him! This means that his code is clean and he did it really well. It’s almost the same with getting a perfect score in an exam! So go and give him the sweetest and biggest hug you can manage!

I am not saying however that my husband is not sweet or doesn’t talk to me at all. What I am trying to point out here is that there is a huge difference between us brought about by our chosen profession. BUT this difference is not enough to make us love each other less. In fact, I  am saying that because of this huge difference, I was able to love him more.

I was able to appreciate the fact that he is very careful with his words. He doesn’t just say things without thinking about twice, in that way we avoid hurting each other verbally. He is so serious when he is working but this doesn’t mean I can’t give him a quick kiss on the cheeks nor give him a quick hug. Based on my experience, when my husband is so stressed, a quick hug changes his mood and perspective thus making him more productive.

I know it will take some “getting-used-to” in order for you to understand the things that he is saying but you’ll get there. You will both reach that stage that even just a look in the eyes, you will know what each other is thinking. You will get to the point that even a simple nod would mean a whole lot of other things.

You can’t code a perfect married life, it simply doesn’t work that way. There will always be defects along the way. Bugs that needed to be removed. Work around that needs to be done. But that is what make it amazing! It is unpredictable but very stable because …….

<h1><span style=”background-color: #ff0000; color: #ffffff;”><strong>Love is greater than anything&nbsp;<img src=”https://html-online.com/editor/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif&#8221; alt=”embarassed” /></strong></span></h1>

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