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It’s the Thought that Counts

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“Sharing is caring”, may seem like one the world’s most cliché adage.  (Time is gold tops it.) We hear it almost every day of our life. We know that we ought to help one another. We ought to share our blessing. We know that we ought to help without expecting anything in return.

But why is it so hard to do?

Last Sunday, July 10, 2016, my husband and I attended the mass. The sermon that father gave was about Sharing. He spoke about sharing your time, talent and treasure. This concept is not new to me. I have always loved helping people. When I was younger, I would go up the mountains, to far-flung places even, just to help our less fortunate brothers and sisters through teaching them or to simply just giving them small gifts. The children in the area cannot go to school because the nearest one is about 3 hours walk from their area and mind you, the way there is not easy. You have to cross mountains, walk through slippery slopes and even walk through a bridge made of two bamboo trees/stems tied together.

Every time I go to those areas, I feel like I was always hanging for dear life. Apart from those far-flung areas, I have been to areas where armed rebels have devastated so the chances of them coming back is not remote and, ‘lo and behold,it did happen once or twice. I know it is dangerous, I know it is tiring but there is always something that pulls me back every time I feel like I can not do it anymore.

At first, I thought it was my love for the children that motivates me. Seeing them smile made me really happy but while listening to the sermon last Sunday, I realized it was not just their smile that motivated me. It was the joy of giving that was filling me. The happiness that I felt seeing the kids smile and knowing that I have been an instrument of the happiness that they feel overwhelmed me. It feels so good to know that even though I was just doing a small thing, it made them glad and it mattered to them.

However, when we (my husband and I) moved here in Denmark, I felt like it is hard to share our treasure with other people. Honestly, my husband and I are not rich. We live a comfortable life but we are not rich. Apart from that, Denmark is a very expensive country! As much as we want to give to the less fortunate, financial constraints limit the help we can give. We are not complaining, though. We know that we are really lucky and we are so blessed to be living the life that we have. And since we feel really blessed, we want to pass it forward. We want to help others who are in need and share our blessings.

So my husband and I thought of ways to help others without the thought of financial constraints limit us. We accepted the fact that we cannot share TREASURE as much as we want so we focused on sharing our TIME and TALENT.

How did we do it? 

Simple. When we have friends who ask us for help in moving heavy things in their unit, we go and help. We offer our time to look after their kids if they are busy. We spend time with them and just do nothing but listen if they are going through tough times. When they are celebrating a milestone in their life, my husband volunteers as photographer/videographer and me as host/emcee. No buts, no excuses. Expecting nothing in return.

I know what these are just little things but it does not matter. What matters to my husband and I is that we are doing it from the heart. We just want to help, and if these are just what we can do, then be it. At the end of the day, it is always the thought that counts.

 

Photo credit: cogdogblog via Foter.com / CC BY

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Blogs, Travel

UK Visa Application Guide

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I have read in many group pages a lot of query about visas going to London. For European citizens, this might be a puzzling question because they do not need any visa at all, but for us Asians especially Filipinos, this is not new.As I have mentioned in my previous Blog, 5 Important Tips in Traveling, visa inquiries/passport regulations are always and should be on top of our deciding factors whether we will go to a country or not.

These past few months, my husband and I have been scouring for cheap tickets and the cheapest that we always find is a RyanAir flight bound to London. So we decided to book the flight and then go to London. Now here comes the bloody part, visa application.

We are fortunate enough to have never experienced rejections in any country that we want to visit and so we prayed that the UK will not be the first. I have been dreaming about going to London ever since I was young. So going there will surely feel like re-living my childhood dreams and memories!

The first thing we did is to comply the documents for the visa requirements.

Here is the list of documents that you need.

  • Current passport or other valid travel identification
  • Evidence that you can support yourself during the trip. E.g. bank statements or payslip for the last 6 months

Seems easy right? But they can ask for more documents if they want to. So here is the list of documents that you MIGHT need but be sure to give these just when SPECIFICALLY asked to.

  •  bank statements or letters issued more than 1 year before the date of application
  •  driving licence
  •  photographs (other than passport photographs required in section 1)
  •  notarial certificates
  •  business cards
  •  hotel bookings
  •  flight bookings
  •  photocopies of bank cards
  •  credit card statements
  •  certificates relating to leisure activities
  •  evidence of car ownership
  •  travel insurance
  •  sponsor’s utility bills
  •  sponsor’s council tax bill

After you have prepared all the documents that you need, you have to register and apply  in GOV.The UK and pay the application fee. Just to give you and idea, my husband and I paid 190 Euros each for 6 months’ multiple entry visas. Expensive, I know.  But I’m sure it will be worth it! (I need to tell this to myself every day just so I can move on from the fact that it is really expensive!)

After registering in GOV.uk you have to register again in their outsource company under Teleperformance. It is called TLSContact. It is important that you sign up on this website so that you can track your application. Also, it is in their service center where you will pass the requirements. Their address is,

UK Visa Application Centre
Regus Copenhagen
Orestad Fairway House
Arne Jacobsens Alle 7
Center Boulevard
S 2300 Copenhagen
Denmark

Before you go to your appointment, make sure that you have everything that you need. Here is a checklist that they provided in TLSContact.

  • printed copies of your appointment confirmation,
  • printed receipt(s) of payment of Added Value Services if applicable,
  • original documents,
  • online application form,
  • passport,
  • residence permit if applicable,
  • other documents you want to be considered.

So as you can see in the list, you need to bring the copy of your payment receipt. You will receive this copy via email after you paid the application fee, so make sure to print it out.

Okay, now, let me tell you what I submitted for the application. I submitted a lot of documents! Since it was mentioned that I can bring any documents that I want to be considered, I took the liberty of taking all the documents that I have!

Here is the list of documents I submitted excluding the above-mentioned requirements.

  • Photocopy of my passports. (Old and New)
  • Marriage certificate
  • Birth certificate
  • Hotel booking
  • Airline booking
  • EU residence permit (Pink Card) and Social Security Card (Yellow Card)
  • Personal bank statement
  • Shared bank account statement of my husband and I
  • My husband’s bank statement
  • My husbands’ certificate of employment

You might be wondering why I included my husbands’ Certificate of Employment. The reason is actually very simple. I wrote in my application that I am TOTALLY dependent on my husband so I included his bank statement to prove that he has the capacity to pay for our trip and also his Certificate of Employment for them to know that we will not stay in the UK more than what we are supposed to because he has a job that he has to go back to. Let’s call it perks of being married. So what’s his is mine and what’s mine is…uhmm…I actually have nothing. Joke!

Now,for my tips during the interview.

Visa applications are always tough but it is doable! Just always remember though that when you are applying for a visa,you have to look presentable and likable. Smile and greet everyone you meet there. And the most important thing, be honest on what you write in your application. They always have a way of finding out the truth.  The processing time is just about two weeks Good luck and enjoy the UK!

P.S.

For security reasons, I will not post a copy of our visa. Rather we will post a picture of our trip to London after our vacation. 🙂 Happy traveling!

 

 

Blogs, Uncategorized

Living like a Dane

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I have often wondered why the Danes are considered the happiest people in the world. Why is Denmark the happiest country to live in? Having been here for quite some time made me realize the answer is just right in front on me.

The Danes gathered in the park for picnics, the Danes lying the beach sunbathing during summer, the Danes staying at home having simple dinner with their friends, the Danes walking or jogging every day, the Danes biking going to work, all these things contribute to their happiness. “Hygge”, a Danish word which apparently has no direct English translation, (yep, it is certainly a Danish thing.lol), healthy lifestyle, a government that gives people what is due to them and a simple uncomplicated life. Those are the things that contribute to the happiness and contentment that Danish people have.

My husband and I have adopted some of these things. We bike all the time, walk everyday and go to picnics. And truly, these things made a huge difference. It made us happy and somewhat, at peace. Maybe another factor to consider is the fact that we both lived in Manila where one feels like they are hanging for dear life every time they go out of their house. Walking around the city is a luxury, much more looking for a park to have a picnic. Chilling and “hygge” in Manila can be costly. Yep, it may cost a lot including your safety. I hope Manila can be as safe as Copenhagen. The Filipinos are lenient and hard working people and they, just like us, deserves to live a good happy life.

So it made a huge difference when we are here in Copenhagen. We can go to parks and beaches without breaking the bank. We can walk around the city without the worry of being robbed. We can bike around the city without the fear of being sideswiped by crazy drivers. Living here, our life became much more simple. Much less complicated. We are happy with the little things that we have. We are happy because we decided to live in Denmark and live like the Danes.

Blogs, Travel

Copenhagen Sakura Festival

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In my previous post, “Cherry Blossoms in the Cemetery” I mentioned that I love Cherry Blossoms, right? I was not kidding. I really love cherry blossoms and I will never ever grow tired of seeing them.

Last time, my ever supportive and sweet husband went with me to Bispebjerg Kirkegård. So this time we decided to check out Langelinie. It is a park/ pier here in Copenhagen made famous by “The Little Mermaid Statue”. Our timing could not be any more perfect because that same day, they are having their annual Sakura Festival.

It is a festival that honors its roots from the beautiful country of Japan. In Japan, once a year, under a Sakura families and friends gathers and reconnect. And this is also the main idea behind the Sakura Festival in Copenhagen, bonding people under the Sakura tree and have a great time.

It was my first time to attend the festival because for some weird reason I keep on missing it the previous years. And I was in for a treat. It was beyond my expectations. People from Japanese descent wore their Kimonos and other traditional Japanese costume. Others were in their cosplay outfits. It was so fun and indeed very festive.

There were also a lot of stalls selling Japanese food and delicacies but I was s fixated with the cherry blossoms and people in their costumes that I forgot to take pictures of them. lol

Sakura Festival, I am so not over you! I’ll see you again next year! 🙂

Blogs, Uncategorized

Beauty in Discourse

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It is time for Presidential election again in the Philippines. But unlike any other election, this election gathers too much attention from everyone. Don’t get me wrong, it is but right that people are informed and are taking their stand in this national event. However, the power of social media and democracy has given people the notion that they can say WHATEVER they want and HOWEVER they please since it is their account.

Let me start by saying, yes, I respect and acknowledge the fact that you have the right to say whatever you want in your social media accounts. I will never deprive you of that right because I fully understand that social media accounts are important for this millennial generation. What I am trying to point out here is, try to be more “gentle and sensitive” in your posts.

All of us has a varied opinion on different subject matters, especially on who we are rooting for as president. Let us therefore just respect everybody’s opinion. I was born in the Municipality of T’boli, a Municipality filled with our T’boli brothers and sisters. When I was 4 years old, my parents decided to bring me to General Santos City, a city that is a melting pot of culture. A city where Muslims, Christians and Indigenous People live in harmony.

I am currently based here in Europe but if there is one dogma that I learned from my younger years in those humble Municipality and City, it is, “Unity in Diversity not in Uniformity.” We do not have the same culture and tradition, but that is not a reason for us to be divided. Our diversity made us unique. Our diversity made us more accepting and respectful for everyone in spite and despite the differences.

That is why it hurts me every single time I check my social media account. I see people lambasting others because of their opinion. I see people class-jabbing others because of their choice. Why don’t we just respect everyone’s opinion and MOVE-ON? If you do not agree on whom you are rooting for, then state your case PROPERLY—without name callings, without class jabs, without the need to curse the other. Stop calling people “bobotante, Dutertard, Maruhas, Trapoe, Dudirty and etc.” I believe in intellectual discourse, so by all means, constructively state your cases and talk about it.

Our opinion differs from each other and I think that is a good thing. It is good because it means that we are being critical on this issue and really study on whom we think is the best to serve our country. There is beauty in discourse, so long as people are rational about it.

Take this lesson from a little girl from Mindanao. Nothing good will come out from judging people based on their opinion, their social class, and their ethnicity. Accept and respect people no matter the differences.

I am rooting for the Mindanaoan of course. But beyond my hope of him winning, I am hoping for a peaceful and honest election.

Photo credit: samantha celera via Foter.com / CC BY-ND

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Choose Forgiveness

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Photo credit: Keoni Cabral via Foter.com / CC BY

In our everyday life, we always come to a point where we are deeply hurt that we feel like crushing and shattering beyond repair. The pain might be caused by our terrible bosses, friends, lovers, strangers or even just self-inflicted. Point is, we are deeply hurt and pain is something that is very inevitable. We will certainly come across it.

But how do we react towards pain? Ah! Most of the time, we give the same amount of pain to whoever hurts us. Its very normal for us to act that way because we feel like they deserve it. As Newton puts it, In every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Like if someone push you, you’d push that person as well using equal force, thus making you stay in the same place and making you even. But it is non sequitur, that what is normal is right. It is not always about getting even nor inflicting even greater pain. It is about Forgiveness.

True it is much easier to hate or to get your vengeance but, see it in this way. If all of us will not forgive, if all of us will take our vengeance, what will happen to our dear planet? We will certainly be living in a world filled with chaos, hate and suffering. We must never let this happen. It may not be easy to forgive but try to look for it in your heart. We always have a room for forgiveness just as God has forgiven us. Open your heart for other people and try to see beyond the faults and mistakes.

God never wants us to suffer. God never wants us to hate. God wants us to forgive.

When we suffer, we hate. When we hate we never forgive. So before this happens, pray. Pray even before pain or suffering starts. In the same way, even before we will be hurt, we have already forgiven.

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.- Matthew 18:22

 

 

Writer’s Note: This is an article I wrote when I was in College. I didn’t know what I was going through then but I think this article is very much timely.

Blogs, Travel

Cherry Blossoms in the Cemetery

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Spring is finally here! I am so happy that the long winter nights are finally over. Gone are the snow storms and the very dull and dark season. I am not exaggerating when I talk about winter because winter here in Denmark is the worst. It is super cold and super windy! Imagine Westeros in Game of Thrones, that is how cold Denmark feels in winter.That is why spring really makes me happy. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Flowers are blooming everywhere, the weather is perfect and of course, my favorite cherry blossoms bloom once more!

I was looking forward to going to the Little Mermaid because I know that they have plenty of cherry blossoms there. But a friend recommended Bispebjerg Kirkegård instead. I was so shocked because I know that kirkegård in Danish means cemetery. The Asian in me could not believe what I am hearing. I mean, in my country, visits to the cemetery is always sad and heart-breaking.I thought it was a joke so I searched it online. And “Lo and behold, there are really cherry blossoms in the cemetery! So my husband and I wasted no second and went there that very same day.

Apparently, going to this place is a “Danish” kind of thing. The place was packed with people going for a picnic or sunbathing. This is indeed a perfect place for the Danish”hygge”. My husband and I love having picnics so we came ready. Not to be disrespectful, but I wasn’t at all bothered by the gravestones around us. The beauty of the cherry blossoms totally made me forget where I was. Needless to say, my husband and I enjoyed our visit to see the cherry blossoms in the cemetery.

 

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Fiery Summer

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1997. The summer heat is once more felt. Leaving on a tropical island, it is but just expected that the temperature would really rise. I just arrived in my hometown which is a two-hour drive from the city where we are already based. I feel so excited about seeing the familiar houses, the familiar streets, the familiar faces. I wasn’t able to go back here for four long years. My parents sent me to the city so that I could go to some prestigious school and to have what they call “quality education”. Back then, I didn’t know that life is much more complicated in the metro. Life is much faster and I learned that every second lost costs a lot.

I asked my granny to allow me to go out of the big house so that I could play with some of my childhood friends. Still, in my shorts and snickers, I went out to go to my friend’s house. There, we played like there’s no tomorrow. Panting and sweating all over, we decided to rest for a while.
On a distance, I saw some group of guys coming and I am very sure that one of them is my brother. I know him more than anyone else in this world and I know his type of friends. He’s not a saint and I know he wouldn’t want a saint for a friend. I turned my back when I saw them coming.  Not that I don’t want to see my brother, it’s just that I would like to have some moments of silence which, for sure I will never have with them around.

I was about to enter my friend’s house when my cousin, who’s part of my brothers pack called me and told me to meet their friends. What can I do? Even if all I really wanted to do is get away from that place, I can’t turn down such a small favor for my cousin. Slowly, I turned and was just about to give their friends a nod when I saw the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. I read on the crazy books that I have that every time the girl sees the guy she loves, the world stops and the beat of her heart raises like that of hundred galloping horses at the same time. I never believed it not until that day. I really did feel the world stop and my heart beat raised as well.

Even if I was stupefied for the first time, I was able to remember his name, Avery Blake. I didn’t know if it was love but every time I see him, I can hear birds singing the song of love, the wind whispering about love that will forever stay. We never really had long talks, we just say hi’s and hellos. I was very disappointed because he, the only person whom I would like to talk for eternity never bothered to engage even in short conversations with me.

Years past and I’ve known that he had been into a lot of relationships. He never bothered to love only one girl. Yes, my Adonis had been a real playboy and it hurts me. How could he lay his eyes on many girls and not even notice me? Every time I think of this, my eyes always fill with a stream of tears. I am deeply hurt by the thought that the one I love never bothered to lay his eyes on me, not even for a second.

Eight years after my last vacation in my hometown, I decided to come back. I realized that it’s time for me to face him and that fact that he will never like me and friendship is all that he could offer. I went there to stay for a week and go back to the city immediately to continue my summer lessons. Days passed without the sight of him. I really wanted to see him and ask how he is feeling, if he is alright and what’s new with him… I just wanted to know everything about him. I patiently waited for him, but just like before, my efforts were wasted. The day before I intend to leave, still in my pajamas, I went downstairs to have my breakfast and sleep again. Yup, I have a weird routine. When I was in the bottom of the stairs, I realized that my uncle was talking to someone outside so I fixed my hair and tried to look a little more decent  before the guest sees me. I wore my big morning smile and went towards my uncles’ direction to greet him and his visitor a good morning. Walking towards my uncle’s direction, I saw him flash a teasing smile on me and I was really puzzled by his reaction. I smiled at him first and turned to smile at the visitor and that’s when I realize why my uncle gave me that smile. His visitor is no other than my ultimate crush, Avery Blake. For some reason, my uncle immediately went inside so that Avery and I are left all by ourselves.

I was really starting to feel so awkward. He was staring at me like it’s the first time he saw me.
“Avery!” I said. “Why are you staring at me? Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?”
He didn’t answer back immediately, so I thought my statement would just fall on deaf ears. “You changed…” He said after some time. “You are no longer the sweet and simple girl I used to know. You used to be sweet and so humble. So pure and so true.”

I don’t know if it was an insult or what but I felt like boiling water was just poured on me. “So what? Who cares if I changed? I mean, don’t I have the freedom to grow up and be the girl I want to be? ” Sobbing, I added. “ I may have changed… but it’s all because of you. I did everything just so you would notice me. But you didn’t even bother to lay your eyes on me.”

He stared at me and that stare sent shivers on my spine. It’s like he wanted to say something but he’s holding back. It was too late for me to realize that tears are already falling from my eyes. How could he say that to me? After everything that I did just so he would notice me… Hurt with what he said, I decided to go upstairs and pack my bags. I will leave on that very day and go back to the city. Never again will I go back to that place and never again will I say his name.

After that talk we had, he did everything to reach me. He called, texted, e- mailed and even went to the city just to see me. But I don’t want to see him. The pain still lingers. I can still hear the words he said and remember how those words broke my heart.

Three years past and it’s again another summer. I just graduated from college and will be celebrating my birthday in few days time. My friends and I planned to go to Boracay to celebrate my birthday and graduation. On the 16th of April, the day of our flight to Bora, mom called and told me that I have to go back to our hometown. It’s still 6 o’ clock in the morning. What would I do there? She just added that they are already there waiting for me. I was wondering why they went there. They told me yesterday that they’ll go to Bukidnon to check out some business matters so it made no sense that they are in our hometown. I tried to negotiate with my mom and ask her if I could just go there on the 21st, the very day of my arrival from Bora.

“Do what I ask you to do if you don’t want to regret for the rest of your life. This is for you to realize that love is not always about saying I love you, it’s sometimes about saying goodbye to the one you love just so she would feel lesser pain the moment you say your final goodbye.” Mom said.

I feel like I have an idea of what she is saying, and I am honestly not ready for it. So I said in a very arrogant manner that everything can wait. “Let that matter wait for me until I’m back from Bora.”

10 o’clock in the morning. The very moment our flight was called, I heard my phone ring. No number was displayed on the screen. Thinking that it’s another emergency, I answered the phone and said hello.

“You have always been the angel in my dreams. The girl I forever long to be with, the melody I wanted to hear for a lifetime. It is just sad to know that I don’t have a lifetime. I have only now. Don’t look back. Face your future with much strength for I will forever be with you.”

The line went dead immediately. I didn’t know who the caller was, I don’t know anything about him but tears fell from my eyes. Sadness burned me like those from the fires of hell. My friends asked me what’s wrong… I said I just feel sad. And they all laughed. The Drama Queen is with them!

Before I board the plane, the flight attendant gave me a small blue box. “What’s this? Who asked you to give this to me?” I asked.

“An hour before your flight, a guy in white asked me to give this to you. He said that I would be able to recognize you through the H initialed necklace you are wearing.” Said the attendant.

H initialed necklace… the necklace I found in the pouch of my bag…I asked my friends who owns it but they wouldn’t say, so I kept it. I said thank you to the attendant and made my way to my seat. The attendants instructed us that we must turn off our phones. I saw that I have 15 unread messages but I didn’t bother to open it. I put the blue box in my bag and head on to Boracay.

When I arrived in Bora, I opened my phone and called my mom. “Don’t bother to reach me, mom. I’ll turn off my phone so that I could fully enjoy the place. The thing that you were saying, let it wait. I have forever to deal with it.” I hurriedly turned off my phone. I was not ready to hear whatever my mom has to say.

After 5 days of partying and sunbathing in Bora, it’s time for me to come home. Yes, I enjoyed my stay on the beautiful paradise but, I feel like I’m losing something. Like there is a void in my heart but I don’t know why… When I arrived in GenSan, my mom called me and asked me if I could now go to my hometown. For five days, that was the only time I opened my phone so messages flooded. Most of it were just quotations so I marked them all to be deleted. I caught a glimpse of some of the messages which say about goodbyes, life, sorry, lost and more. Just when I deleted the messages, my phone got busted.

Remembering what I told mom about going home, I got into the garage to get my car and started driving towards my hometown. I arrived there around 5:30 in the afternoon . When people saw my car coming, I didn’t know if it was just me but I could really feel like they are all staring at me.

When I arrived at the big house, I saw some of my friends and the mom of Avery. Obviously, she just recovered from long hours of crying. I can feel like something is wrong. I felt just like the way I did the time I received the unknown call and when the blue box was given to me. Blue Box! I forgot about the blue box. Before I say hi to them, I went back to my car to get the blue box. I said hi to all of them and they just stared at me. But the reaction of Avery’s mother was different. It’s more of like shock and amazement.

“Where did you get that blue box?” she asked. I told her about how the attendant handed me the box and to whom it came from according to her. I even added about the call and the H initialed necklace.

After hearing my story, she sobbed and was trying to hold back her tears. “What’s wrong?” I asked impatiently. Instead of answering my question, she just handed me a thick blue paper. I opened it and read what was inside.

H,

I know I hurt you when I said you changed and how I love the old you. I know you would run away and wouldn’t bother to face me. I was hurting you. I asked myself a lot of times, how could I hurt someone like you? How could I hurt a girl so pure and true? How could I hurt the girl whom my heart shouts for?

You may be wondering why until now, nobody would claim that “H” necklace. It was not by accident that you found it in your bag. I placed it there just so you would remember that every time you wear that necklace, you have my heart with you. I loved you even before I learned my alphabet. I feel like there is no beginning and end when I am with you, only eternity.

Your happiness is the most important thing for me. Even if it hurts, even if I wanted to say “I love you”, I said “goodbye”. No, I didn’t give up. I just know that you will be much more hurt if you hear me say my final goodbye.

Yes, I am saying goodbye. I prayed and asked God to give me more time. Just enough time for me to say and show how much I love you and how much I am willing to give up everything for you. But He wouldn’t give me that time. Maybe, He has His reasons. Whatever it may be, I just hope that you’ll be OK and that He will give you someone who will love you much more than I loved you.

Don’t blame yourself for the things you didn’t do and wasn’t able to do. It’s not you, its fate who decided that our story will end long before it ever started. I tried to love some other girls but I can’t. It’s you whom my heart shouts for. It’s your name whom I shouted for at the sunset of my life.

You have always been the angel in my dreams. The girl I forever long to be with, the melody I wanted to hear for a lifetime. It is just sad to know that I don’t have a lifetime. I have only now. Don’t look back. Face your future with much strength for I will forever be with you.

Open the blue box and there you will find my treasures, the things that I cherished most in my existence.

Forever and Always,
Avery

After reading the letter, I opened the box and surprisingly saw pictures of me. I saw the poems I wrote for him which I threw away and the handkerchief he gave me to wipe my sweat the very first day I met him.

Then, his mom spoke, “He has a serious heart problem. He was diagnosed summer of 2008”.

I looked up into the sky and saw how my fiery summer turned into cold winter. How could a hot season be so cold that I am so frozen and couldn’t even move an inch of my muscle? Regrets? I don’t have any… I know, even if our story ended so soon, it will forever stay just like those that are written in the channels of history. Just how ironic is this. I lost him on the very day I met him.

PS
This is purely out of my imagination. Sorry for the typos though! 😉
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Girl, You are not an ATM!

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Before I met my husband, I was in a relationship. It was a very interesting, weird and twisted relationship. I admit, at first, I was really in love. I giggle and blush all over like a high school girl even at just the mention of his name. (yuck!)

We met in a very typical way. Our eyes met, then it felt like time stopped and the world revolved around us. I felt like I was looking into the eyes of love itself. (Bweset! lol)  But yeah, I think that was what I felt that time. I thought this is it! I met the man of my dreams! (tanga.) He is tall, dark, handsome (?), with braces and is wearing ORANGE SHOES. (I’ll tell you about the orange shoes next time.)

At first, everything was perfect. Everything was going according to our plans. I was really thinking that the world is conspiring in our favor. Oh, how wrong was I! While he was courting me, he got his exam results from a board exam he took and he failed so he had to go back to Manila again for a review and retake the exam. I was really sad but it’s for his future so I motivated him to do better in his reviews. (supportive diba!) I was his support system. Imagine, even if I was very busy because of my work, I would set my alarm at 3 am to call him and wake him up just so he can study.  I even sent him letters, cards, and other crazy nonsense just to motivate him.

During those times, I was on cloud nine. (bangag!) I knew I was helping the man I loved so I didn’t really care about what I was sacrificing. I was willing to do anything for love! (pagkabugok!) Then when the results of the Exams came up, and he passed, I felt like no one can ever be prouder than me. Though at some point, when I found out about his rating, I was a bit disappointed because he barely made it. (lol)

Things changed when I decided to go to Europe to pursue my dreams and he decided to further his degree in Medicine. I left with a very heavy heart but we agreed that we were doing this for our future so we had to be strong. During the first few months, we were doing great. We had fights but it was nothing  big so I just shook it off. Sometimes he would borrow money from me because his parents didn’t give him enough or because his parents didn’t have money. It was okay for me, I mean, he is my boyfriend so little loans wouldn’t hurt. (Reyna ng katangahan!)

But it later became unbearable. The fight wasn’t just because of petty things already. He cheated on me! For Pete’s sake, how dare this man who knows nothing but borrow money from me cheat on me? Relationship isn’t an exam, so why does he have to cheat! (char!) I was really furious, I was hurt, I was wounded! But after he said that he is sorry, I didn’t know if it was just because I was alone in a very cold and dark country, or because of I was really just plain stupid, (yup, you were!)  I forgave him.  We were back to being a “happy couple” again and he borrows money from me again.

Then it became a cycle. We fight, we break up, we kiss and makeup, he borrows money, we fight, we break up, we kiss and make-up, he borrows money… It was a very tiring cycle but I held on to it. I just couldn’t let go. My friends kept telling me I should move on because it was not worth it. I kept on defending him every time and I always tell my friends it is not his fault. I put the blame to myself every single time. (Hai.engot.)

Then there was an occasion where he broke-up with me because he said his mom didn’t like me. He said that his parents think that our family is not on the same social status because we are poor while they are so “rich” and also because I am ruining his focus on his studies. How was it my fault? His son cannot study at night because he is doing all the requirements for his fraternity in which he was elected as batch leader. Some other times he is so dead-tired because of the drills like push-ups and all the other crazy thing they do. How was it my fault when he was too busy playing Ragnarok every effing night even if I kept on telling him to study! How was it my fault when all I ever did was stay up late at night, watch him study to make sure he will not do anything else! I would wait for him to get ready and prepare for school just to make sure he is never late for his class. I was sending him money just so he can buy the books and materials he needed for class because his “rich” mom didn’t send him money.  How was it my fault when I even paid for everything in our vacation abroad because he said he badly needed it to make him motivated in his studies! How was it my fault when I even gave him an iPad because he said he needed it for his class! OO NA. TANGA NA AKO.MARTIR ANG PEG.  (He promised me he will pay for all of it because it is, after all, a LOAN  but as usual, they are just words.) It really upset me! I have never been that mad my entire life. I went ballistic and immediately went to another country that is much colder and stayed over the weekend just so I can calm my nerves! I was beyond furious!

After a few days, he said he is sorry. That he couldn’t live a life without me but something in me changed. (Tangina mo dude!char!haha) I know I do not feel the same towards him. But maybe, out of pity I said, we are okay. Then the following day, he borrowed money from me again. lol!

The break and makeup cycle continued. (again) He had reasons like he wanted to do soul-searching to really find out what he wanted in life, he wanted to focus on his studies, his mommy said so, he finds it hard to be in LDR and the list goes on. Until the point when I couldn’t bear it anymore. I think the final straw was when his mom sent me a message on Facebook saying “You ruined all our plans for our son.” I was dumb-founded. (My middle finger salutes you, B!)

I can’t be with a man who has no back bone. I can’t be with a person who doesn’t really know what he wants in life. I can’t be with a person who blames another for his stupidity.  I can’t be with a person who wants to be a doctor for a second then change his mind to become a fire-fighter and then a pilot then a nurse in just a matter of seconds. I can’t be with a man who has no integrity and disposition. I can’t settle in a relationship just because of pity. I can’t settle in a relationship just because AT LEAST I am getting a little attention. I can’t settle in a relationship that’s opportunistic.

I decided to end everything. I do not want to be someone’s ATM forever. I do not want to settle with a man-baby. I do not want to settle in a mediocre relationship. I do not want to settle for just a bit of happiness. I do not want to settle for just a bit of love.

I realized, I deserved so much more! I deserve someone so much better. I deserve to be with a real man. I deserve the man God has in store for me. So out in that cold country where snow and wind were blowing like crazy, I waited. I patiently waited for that man who will sweep me off my feet and make me say, “This is the love I deserve.”

I may just be lucky or really just blessed but, I found HIM. I found whom I deserve.

Blogs, Travel

Chilling in Singapore

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 My husband and I are in love with traveling. We love boarding planes and having that great excitement roaming around unfamiliar cities. I can never really be happier knowing that my husband loves doing the things I love as well.

Last June 23-28, 2015 My husband and I decided to go to the bustling city of Singapore.We stayed in the house of my husband’s friend so it really made our trip cheaper. Traveling is our passion so we always make it to a point to make it a relax and chill experience. We do not exhaust ourselves so much with the details, after all, we travel for leisure.

Since it is my first time to be in the city, my husband acted as my “tour guide”. We arrived around 2 in the morning Singapore. Since there are no more trains after midnight, we took the taxi going to his friend’s house. They live far from the airport so we paid around 32 dollars including the night charges. The taxi in Singapore has extra charges during night time so don’t be shocked if your bill is not what you expect. Also, a tip to those who would like to take a cab when in Singapore, there’s no need for you to say the specific name of the building or tower that you want to go to. This makes the drivers even more confused. Just tell them the street or avenue and they will automatically get what you mean.

 On our first day, my husband asked me where I would like to go. I told him, I am not sure. I just want to see merlion and the Garden of Babylon. Yep, you read it right. I referred to the Garden by the Bay as Garden of Babylon. For years, I really thought that is the name of that place. Weird right? Anyway, my hubby took me to those places. We also got the Tourist pass since we where planning to go around and since the place where we are staying is a bit far so having the tourist pass is really a win for us.

We went to have dinner in Makansutra with his friend and just enjoyed everything there is about Singapore. We waited for the Light Show of the Marina Bay Sands. The following day, we went to some shopping centers and then at night, we took a bus going to Kuala Lumpur. We arrived rather earlier than we expected. I mean way too earlier than we expected. We arrived there at 3 am! The usual 6 hours that people say was actually just a 3-hour ride! We were fortunate enough because there was a hotel nearby the drop off place so we stayed in the lobby and set on our way going to Petronas the moment that the train opened. It was 6:00 am. We had our SGD changed to MYR in 7/11. For sure you can find better rates in real money changers but since It was really early when we got there, it was good enough for us. We asked them to change 60SGD to MYR and we got 120MYR. Which we used for the whole day.

 We took the train going to Petronas and Batu Cave. It was really a fun experience for us. But I was melting because it was really hot. We were supposed to leave at night but my husband said he wants to go back to SG since our feet were already swollen from walking since the other day and we even dared go up the cave! So we went to the pickup point for our trip later that night and asked if we can be moved to an earlier trip and we were so happy when they said it is possible and it has no additional charges! Sweet!

We spent the following day just walking around the city and going to the shopping centers and Sentosa as well. I love how my husband always take care of me when we travel. He carries my bag always so I will not get too tired. He also loves taking pictures of me which are really amazing for a travel bug like me!

 My husband said it was the most relaxed travel he had ever experienced. And I am really happy about it because that is the way I really want him to feel. After 5 days of our travel, our feet were both hurting and swollen but it was the most amazing feeling ever. Nothing beats traveling with the one who holds the other half of your heart.

Inside Batu Cave
Batu Cave, Malaysia
Universal Studios