Girl, You are not an ATM!

Before I met my husband, I was in a relationship. It was a very interesting, weird and twisted relationship. I admit, at first, I was really in love. I giggle and blush all over like a high school girl even at just the mention of his name. (yuck!)

We met in a very typical way. Our eyes met, then it felt like time stopped and the world revolved around us. I felt like I was looking into the eyes of love itself. (Bweset! lol)  But yeah, I think that was what I felt that time. I thought this is it! I met the man of my dreams! (tanga.) He is tall, dark, handsome (?), with braces and is wearing ORANGE SHOES. (I’ll tell you about the orange shoes next time.)

At first, everything was perfect. Everything was going according to our plans. I was really thinking that the world is conspiring in our favor. Oh, how wrong was I! While he was courting me, he got his exam results from a board exam he took and he failed so he had to go back to Manila again for a review and retake the exam. I was really sad but it’s for his future so I motivated him to do better in his reviews. (supportive diba!) I was his support system. Imagine, even if I was very busy because of my work, I would set my alarm at 3 am to call him and wake him up just so he can study.  I even sent him letters, cards, and other crazy nonsense just to motivate him.

During those times, I was on cloud nine. (bangag!) I knew I was helping the man I loved so I didn’t really care about what I was sacrificing. I was willing to do anything for love! (pagkabugok!) Then when the results of the Exams came up, and he passed, I felt like no one can ever be prouder than me. Though at some point, when I found out about his rating, I was a bit disappointed because he barely made it. (lol)

Things changed when I decided to go to Europe to pursue my dreams and he decided to further his degree in Medicine. I left with a very heavy heart but we agreed that we were doing this for our future so we had to be strong. During the first few months, we were doing great. We had fights but it was nothing  big so I just shook it off. Sometimes he would borrow money from me because his parents didn’t give him enough or because his parents didn’t have money. It was okay for me, I mean, he is my boyfriend so little loans wouldn’t hurt. (Reyna ng katangahan!)

But it later became unbearable. The fight wasn’t just because of petty things already. He cheated on me! For Pete’s sake, how dare this man who knows nothing but borrow money from me cheat on me? Relationship isn’t an exam, so why does he have to cheat! (char!) I was really furious, I was hurt, I was wounded! But after he said that he is sorry, I didn’t know if it was just because I was alone in a very cold and dark country, or because of I was really just plain stupid, (yup, you were!)  I forgave him.  We were back to being a “happy couple” again and he borrows money from me again.

Then it became a cycle. We fight, we break up, we kiss and makeup, he borrows money, we fight, we break up, we kiss and make-up, he borrows money… It was a very tiring cycle but I held on to it. I just couldn’t let go. My friends kept telling me I should move on because it was not worth it. I kept on defending him every time and I always tell my friends it is not his fault. I put the blame to myself every single time. (Hai.engot.)

Then there was an occasion where he broke-up with me because he said his mom didn’t like me. He said that his parents think that our family is not on the same social status because we are poor while they are so “rich” and also because I am ruining his focus on his studies. How was it my fault? His son cannot study at night because he is doing all the requirements for his fraternity in which he was elected as batch leader. Some other times he is so dead-tired because of the drills like push-ups and all the other crazy thing they do. How was it my fault when he was too busy playing Ragnarok every effing night even if I kept on telling him to study! How was it my fault when all I ever did was stay up late at night, watch him study to make sure he will not do anything else! I would wait for him to get ready and prepare for school just to make sure he is never late for his class. I was sending him money just so he can buy the books and materials he needed for class because his “rich” mom didn’t send him money.  How was it my fault when I even paid for everything in our vacation abroad because he said he badly needed it to make him motivated in his studies! How was it my fault when I even gave him an iPad because he said he needed it for his class! OO NA. TANGA NA AKO.MARTIR ANG PEG.  (He promised me he will pay for all of it because it is, after all, a LOAN  but as usual, they are just words.) It really upset me! I have never been that mad my entire life. I went ballistic and immediately went to another country that is much colder and stayed over the weekend just so I can calm my nerves! I was beyond furious!

After a few days, he said he is sorry. That he couldn’t live a life without me but something in me changed. (Tangina mo dude!char!haha) I know I do not feel the same towards him. But maybe, out of pity I said, we are okay. Then the following day, he borrowed money from me again. lol!

The break and makeup cycle continued. (again) He had reasons like he wanted to do soul-searching to really find out what he wanted in life, he wanted to focus on his studies, his mommy said so, he finds it hard to be in LDR and the list goes on. Until the point when I couldn’t bear it anymore. I think the final straw was when his mom sent me a message on Facebook saying “You ruined all our plans for our son.” I was dumb-founded. (My middle finger salutes you, B!)

I can’t be with a man who has no back bone. I can’t be with a person who doesn’t really know what he wants in life. I can’t be with a person who blames another for his stupidity.  I can’t be with a person who wants to be a doctor for a second then change his mind to become a fire-fighter and then a pilot then a nurse in just a matter of seconds. I can’t be with a man who has no integrity and disposition. I can’t settle in a relationship just because of pity. I can’t settle in a relationship just because AT LEAST I am getting a little attention. I can’t settle in a relationship that’s opportunistic.

I decided to end everything. I do not want to be someone’s ATM forever. I do not want to settle with a man-baby. I do not want to settle in a mediocre relationship. I do not want to settle for just a bit of happiness. I do not want to settle for just a bit of love.

I realized, I deserved so much more! I deserve someone so much better. I deserve to be with a real man. I deserve the man God has in store for me. So out in that cold country where snow and wind were blowing like crazy, I waited. I patiently waited for that man who will sweep me off my feet and make me say, “This is the love I deserve.”

I may just be lucky or really just blessed but, I found HIM. I found whom I deserve.


Chilling in Singapore

 My husband and I are in love with traveling. We love boarding planes and having that great excitement roaming around unfamiliar cities. I can never really be happier knowing that my husband loves doing the things I love as well.

Last June 23-28, 2015 My husband and I decided to go to the bustling city of Singapore.We stayed in the house of my husband’s friend so it really made our trip cheaper. Traveling is our passion so we always make it to a point to make it a relax and chill experience. We do not exhaust ourselves so much with the details, after all, we travel for leisure.

Since it is my first time to be in the city, my husband acted as my “tour guide”. We arrived around 2 in the morning Singapore. Since there are no more trains after midnight, we took the taxi going to his friend’s house. They live far from the airport so we paid around 32 dollars including the night charges. The taxi in Singapore has extra charges during night time so don’t be shocked if your bill is not what you expect. Also, a tip to those who would like to take a cab when in Singapore, there’s no need for you to say the specific name of the building or tower that you want to go to. This makes the drivers even more confused. Just tell them the street or avenue and they will automatically get what you mean.

 On our first day, my husband asked me where I would like to go. I told him, I am not sure. I just want to see merlion and the Garden of Babylon. Yep, you read it right. I referred to the Garden by the Bay as Garden of Babylon. For years, I really thought that is the name of that place. Weird right? Anyway, my hubby took me to those places. We also got the Tourist pass since we where planning to go around and since the place where we are staying is a bit far so having the tourist pass is really a win for us.

We went to have dinner in Makansutra with his friend and just enjoyed everything there is about Singapore. We waited for the Light Show of the Marina Bay Sands. The following day, we went to some shopping centers and then at night, we took a bus going to Kuala Lumpur. We arrived rather earlier than we expected. I mean way too earlier than we expected. We arrived there at 3 am! The usual 6 hours that people say was actually just a 3-hour ride! We were fortunate enough because there was a hotel nearby the drop off place so we stayed in the lobby and set on our way going to Petronas the moment that the train opened. It was 6:00 am. We had our SGD changed to MYR in 7/11. For sure you can find better rates in real money changers but since It was really early when we got there, it was good enough for us. We asked them to change 60SGD to MYR and we got 120MYR. Which we used for the whole day.

 We took the train going to Petronas and Batu Cave. It was really a fun experience for us. But I was melting because it was really hot. We were supposed to leave at night but my husband said he wants to go back to SG since our feet were already swollen from walking since the other day and we even dared go up the cave! So we went to the pickup point for our trip later that night and asked if we can be moved to an earlier trip and we were so happy when they said it is possible and it has no additional charges! Sweet!

We spent the following day just walking around the city and going to the shopping centers and Sentosa as well. I love how my husband always take care of me when we travel. He carries my bag always so I will not get too tired. He also loves taking pictures of me which are really amazing for a travel bug like me!

 My husband said it was the most relaxed travel he had ever experienced. And I am really happy about it because that is the way I really want him to feel. After 5 days of our travel, our feet were both hurting and swollen but it was the most amazing feeling ever. Nothing beats traveling with the one who holds the other half of your heart.

…because wives probe more than the FBI. :)